The Gottmans observe that healthy relationships have a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative comments. That is, for every negative interaction (during a conflict, say), a healthy relationship has five (or more) positive interactions.
I think this is also true in professional, social, and church communities.
Reaching this 5:1 ratio can be difficult, and particularly so when we are learning something new. Raising a child. Learning to be in a new place. Adapting to a new process.
Two bits of good news, though.
1) The challenge to reach 5:1 invites us to verbalize gratitude more often than we typically might.
2) Appreciating how hard someone is working to reach the 5:1 ratio counts as a tally in the positive column.
Paul's Blog 