on accompaniment, attentiveness, and contribution
To contribute generously in a challenging situation.
To show up a daily habit of meditation or prayer.
To gather a small group for a purpose close to your heart.
To open that conversation.
You don’t need permission to begin doing any of these things.
Or, put another way, the only person you need permission from is you.
When someone says “no” to something we offer them, we can beg them to change their mind, but it probably won’t work.
What we can do, though, is offer a subsequent opportunity to make a new decision based on new information.
That is, we can offer a little more insight, and invite them to take another step forward.
Talking about fixing problems… is not the same as actually addressing them.
Yes, talking about strategy is important. It should also not be confused with the action, the actual fixing.
Here may be the hard part: Talking about a problem, finally getting it out in the open can feel good. A sense of relief follows. But if we let the tension of the moment drain all the way out, we will never do the thing we said we would do.
At work, at church, in your family, or online… Do we typically lurk (that is, sit in the back without interacting, watching what other people do) or lead (by connecting with one or more people, by starting a conversation about what is important)?
Lurking is easy to fall into. It can be scary to speak up, especially in the presence of a difficult problem.
But difficult problems are the only ones that are left. All of the easy ones are taken.
And so, leadership, not lurking, is really what we need from each other.
What does leadership look like? To risk having the generous conversation, to offer the next best idea to move the issue forward. To see someone as they are (and not as we want them to be), and then inviting them to be generous as well.
Leadership does not have to be loud or in front of everyone. We can lead from any chair in the “orchestra” of a community… as a conductor, an oboist, or the person who stacks the chairs at the end of the day. We each see something important and can make things better.
We need to lead, not lurk.
Paul's Blog