Category Archives: Contribution

Majoring in the Minor

It is possible to not realize that we spend a disproportionate amount of our energy on things of little consequence. When we do, we major in the minor.

We do this with our health when we obsess about a dietary detail, but don’t exercise much or give ourselves the chance to sleep well.

At work this can happen when we clamp down on a problem the resolution of which will not actually move us forward.

And then, with limited time left, we minor in the major.

The tricky part is that majoring in the minor feels like we are doing something productive. We are not.

Let’s major in the major.

The Path

This is the walkway from the street to our house.  

A few weeks ago, four workers took up about a third of the bricks (the part that is darker on the left side), dug a trench, laid some wiring, filled in the trench, and placed each brick evenly back in place.

Brick by brick is the only way to do this job.

Many valuable tasks in life are like this.  Showing up consistently to a routine of prayer.  Working an hour a day on a generous project.  Attending to the individuals in our life with active love.

Each daily instance of these virtues may feel inconsequential and, if we overanalyze it, it is possible to become disheartened.

But, if we don’t stop, it is remarkable what we can build and where we can arrive.

The Opposite of a Sandwich

When we enter the world of Maurice Sendack, Fred Rogers, Roald Dahl, Mo Willams, or the geniuses who write and produce Bluey, we know instinctively that we are in the hands of special people.  

They have clearly cultivated a special attentiveness to children and then create a world rooted in this tender perception that invites all to rejoice in a child’s way of proceeding.

Our boys have stumbled upon another writer with this same gift.

Abby Hanlon’s Dory Fantasmagory is a delight for all comers, especially sassy younger children who may feel a little left behind by older siblings.

The fifth book in the series is our favorite, but we are re-reading them all to make sure.

The Value of Discomfort

The most valuable things reside on the other side of discomfort.

The vulnerability of commitment.

Sharing something that is deeply important to us with another.

Taking the first awkward steps to learn a new skill set.

Sitting in quiet non-judgemental awareness with one’s own mind.

These moments can be quite uncomfortable… but if we are able to see this discomfort as something enormously valuable, then we are able to grow.

But Not Yet

Remember St. Augustine’s insightful (and quite humorous, really) quote in The Confessions?

“Lord, make me chaste, but not yet.” (emphasis added)

It’s a wonderfully pithy articulation of that human capacity to hold back from the goodness that we might become.

And of course it applies to anything that takes courage and initiative… that thing that we mean to do, but have just not got around to it.

The momentum of the new year is a great time to push past the “but not yet.”

The Good Apples

In The Culture Code, Daniel Coyle describes that, far and away, the most productive, cohesive, and enjoyable groups have a member that is a “good apple.”

“Good apples” maintain stability and safe connection among the members of the group, so that group energy can focus on doing the work instead of (often anxious) relationship management. With small behaviors, they defect negativity and drain danger from the room.  By subtly communicating that the group is safely connected, they create the conditions for others to perform.

We have each known these good apples, and they are marvelous to work with.

Being a “good apple” takes a certain amount of emotional intelligence and social skill, but it is also a generous choice.

The Mastery Response Narrative

When I was coaching teachers, the centerpiece of writing a good lesson plan was called the “Mastery Response Narrative” (or MRN).  It was the narration of how one arrived at the completion of the task to be mastered.

So, take a simple example: Say, in Spanish class, the students were to learn how to conjugate a regular “-ar” verb.  

The “target task” to be mastered would be: “Write ‘I speak’.”

The “mastery response” would be: “Yo hablo.”

And then the MRN: “I know that the infinitive of “to speak,” in Spanish, is “hablar” which is a “regular” verb… the base form of the verb does not change when I conjugate it.  And the first person (Yo) verb ending is “-o.”  So to conjugate it, I remove the “-ar” from “hablar” and place the “-o” on the end of the root (“habl-”) to make “hablo.”  Then I add the first-person pronoun (Yo) to form Yo hablo…”

Ok – so kiiind of tedious for a simple task. 

But!  The MRN is indispensable for the teacher-in-training as they are welcomed back into a “beginner’s mind” for the task at hand.  The teacher also sees, through the MRN, all of the steps that they must help the students to practice in order to master the task.

I’ve been thinking about the MRN as I think about less straight forward tasks that we desperately need to master.

How can a busy person cultivate solitude?

How can someone build empathic relationships with people who think much differently than they do?

How can an individual connect with others to address climate change?

How can someone who wants to follow Jesus not become lukewarm or discouraged or a hypocrite and follow the Master anew each day?  

For whatever challenge we want to master, we might seek a person who is thriving at this challenge despite having similar constraints as we do.  Then, ask them for their MRN… How did they come to master this challenge?  And then sit and listen.

Any invitation for someone to give their MRN opens up a series of gifts.  The person you admire begins to see themself as a teacher.  (Gift!)  And you get a narrative to emulate and share.  (Gift that keeps on giving!)

One final thought: What have you mastered that we desperately need you to share about?  Consider doing an MRN today and see how much you have to teach.  You may be the one we’ve been waiting for.

Audacious Ignatius, Adopted

Five years ago this week, Audacious Ignatius was born.

With joy, gratitude, and lots of mailing tape, I packed up all these boxes on our kitchen counter and brought them to the local post office to share with folks who believed in the project from the moment we shared it on Kickstarter.  

And what a brilliant first five years it has been… What has made this project so rich is the partners and companions that generously lent feedback and enthusiasm to the effort of sharing the book.  

And so we are delighted that Audacious Ignatius has been adopted by Loyola Press, so that we can share the book more widely and efficiently.

Audacious Ignatius is now available at Loyola Press’ website and (for the first time!) on amazon.com.

Thanks, as always, for being a part of our books’ journeys.

The Final Freedom

Viktor Frankl named “the last of the human freedoms” as the ability “to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances… to choose one’s own way.” (Man’s Search For Meaning)

And, of course, he has serious authority.  This assertion was made as he reflected on his time in four different concentration camps.

His point is universally important and applicable: how we face the day is a deeply moral and creative act.  

Every moment offers us the possibility to change the story to be more constructive, more loving, more curious.