on accompaniment, attentiveness, and contribution
Through our schooling, our teachers reminded us to show our work. They invited us to make sure our thinking was sound and clear when making an argument, demonstrating a proof, or solving a problem.
Cognitive distortions abound and so teachers who do this well are priceless.
Leaders (that is to say, all of us) need to make a habit of showing our work. As we confront the realities of our day, let’s show our work and invite others to do the same.
Often, when are sons are in the midst of a rollicking game (often involving an imaginative world of stuffies and legos and a yoga-mat-as-naval-vessel and running amok in our apartment) one of them will yell: “pause game!”
Maybe the energy was too high. Maybe one boysensed that they were out of sync. But the call is always heeded by the other and they take a moment to recalibrate.
In all instances, the pause enhances the play.
This is also true of our lives. Be it sabbath or a daily period dedicated to not doing.
Pausing is what makes our life and work fruitful, enjoyable, possible.
We are told that, for a young person, love is spelled T-I-M-E. That is, we love this child best when we consistently offer our undivided attention for meaningful amounts of time.
This may also be how we long for God to love us.
All we must do to make ourselves available to this love is offer our undivided attention for meaningful amounts of time.
As one might expect, our sons occasionally find themselves in a conversational rut. They are going back and forth in a way that makes them both angry and tired.
When they realize this is happening, they’ve started to say (mercifully): “Can we stop doing this?”
When we find ourselves in a communication or relational rut, we can ask the same – to change the dynamic and find another way forward.
Who has permission to tell you the truth (about yourself or the world)?
Usually we do not give this permission directly (though we can…). We typically give (or withhold) it by the quality of our relationships and the mindset with which we engage.
If a solid group of thoughtful people have a his permission, we can expect to learn a lot.
If we do not give anyone this permission (or give it only to those who think and live like us), we limit our potential intelligence.
Paul's Blog