Accompaniment – Page 13

No More Days

One Saturday afternoon some months ago, our five-year-old and I were doing puzzles. Then, with a wild non-sequitor, he said something I will never forget.

He asked: “Papa? What happens when we have no more days?”

Assuming (correctly) that he was asking about death, I evaded awkwardly. “You mean…like… when we have no more days in the weekend? When Monday comes? Or no more days in this house? Like when we move back to the US?

I felt panicked. I could think of nothing to say.

He was thoroughly (and appropriately) underwhelmed.

I surely failed to answer his inquiry that day. He has, though, asked at other times and in different ways. My answer has slowly improved.

And as he asks these questions, I consider the life I want to live before I have no more days. I pray that my “lived answer” to this challenge is improving also.

Our son’s questions focus my mind and my guts on the things of ultimate importance, one more way in which he has been God’s grace to me.

Memory and Freedom

A sign of interior freedom is the ability to recall one’s past with clear-eyed honesty. This, I think, is true as an individual as well as a collective (as a Christian or an American, say).

The honest recollection of failure is particularly useful. If we resist whitewashing or banishing our failures, they can teach us to live gracefully into the future. This recollection helps us take ourselves less seriously and ask for help more readily; that is, to live in freedom.

And on a lighter note: If we recall with clear eyes the power and tenderness of being accompanied by God and friends of God, we have the strength to live with interior freedom even in the moments when this accompaniment seems distant.

Improv and Contribution

When I was learning to program, each exercise was done in pairs. One person had hands on the keyboard, while the other person narrated what to type next based on their vision of how to solve the problem at hand.

This is hard. Like, extremely hard. For a bunch of big reasons. Chief among these reasons is the analysis each person does of the other. I do not understand where this is heading. Does this person have any idea what they are doing?

But, of course, learning to confront the analysis that breaks down communication was a major objective of the exercise. To help us with this objective, the school organized an “intro to improv comedy” class for us.

The parts of the improv session that were actually funny happened when we were able to tune into another person and respond generously and whimsically. The point was to follow another’s lead without hyper-analysis. Indeed, we were to replace analysis with cognitive empathy and lightheartedness.

As we consider the present (and future) of our church and world, it is worth it to realize that we make the road by walking. Much of this road will be improvisation. Let’s tune into each other and respond with generosity and lightheartedness.

Three Years

Katie Broussard and I are wrapping up the third full year at Corde Press, sharing stories of our Catholic tradition with depth and delight.

I wanted to share with you the newsletter we sent out last week: Year in Review, and a Gift for You! (The coupon code expires this Friday.)

Advent blessings, friends. Thanks for being part of our journey.

Lead from Any Chair

I love the current pediatrician office that cares for our sons. The doctors are fine, but what really is exemplary is the front desk staff. They are attentive amid (occasional) chaos, curious even when fatigued, and actually solve a remarkable number of problems without bringing families into the office to see a doctor. In an important way, the folks answering the phones are leading the practice.

I’ve heard that, while playing in an orchestra, one might “lead from any chair.” That is, whether I am the conductor, violin soloist, second oboe, or the guy playing that huge drum, I am able, through my actions, to lead.

What would the church be like if we realized any of us could lead from any chair? This is, in part, what I think Pope Francis is asking us to consider during the current Synod on Synodality. (Check out the questions 40% of the way down the page of the Synod Survey of our diocese.)

I Wonder, What If, Let’s Try!

A few weeks ago, I saw Elmo (and friends) sing a song called, “I Wonder, What If, Let’s Try!”

I find this concise strategy (as well as the levity of dancing furry monsters) to be a most helpful way to reframe a problem I may be gripping too tightly.

Clinging or Thanksgiving

We don’t actually see the things that we cling to. Not really. Our fear of losing these things blinds us from seeing and experiencing them in their fullness.

To truly give thanks for something (and to delight in it), then, let’s pray for the grace to be free from clinging, from fear.

Labels are Lazy

When we use a label to comprehend a person, we trade encounter for ease. That is, we substitute lazy thinking for actually approaching the reality of a person.

This is true (whether we admit it or not) even for the labels that we give ourselves a pass on.

It is true that, as we communicate, it is extremely difficult to avoid labels entirely. If and when we do use them, though, let’s be dissatisfied with them, and use this dissatisfaction to tip us toward curious encounter.

Taking Charge of the Weight of Reality

This week (16 November) we recall the Jesuit martyrs of El Salvador. One of the Jesuits, Ignacio Ellacuría, was a philosopher and theologian, and part of his legacy was to offer a three-fold approach to engage the times that one lives in. It is:

(1) To realize the weight of reality (hacerse cargo)

(2) To shoulder the weight of reality (cargar con)

(3) To take charge of the weight of reality (encargarse de)

Even the first takes major guts. With all three, a disciple can transform reality, and be transformed by the courageous work.

Rearranging Our Prejudices

Psychologist William James once observed that “a great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.” The alternative to this, learning to see the world as it is, is difficult work. But if we are to change our culture to serve the common good, it is the only place toContinue reading “Rearranging Our Prejudices”