on accompaniment, attentiveness, and contribution
We are told that, for a young person, love is spelled T-I-M-E. That is, we love this child best when we consistently offer our undivided attention for meaningful amounts of time.
This may also be how we long for God to love us.
All we must do to make ourselves available to this love is offer our undivided attention for meaningful amounts of time.
As one might expect, our sons occasionally find themselves in a conversational rut. They are going back and forth in a way that makes them both angry and tired.
When they realize this is happening, they’ve started to say (mercifully): “Can we stop doing this?”
When we find ourselves in a communication or relational rut, we can ask the same – to change the dynamic and find another way forward.
Who has permission to tell you the truth (about yourself or the world)?
Usually we do not give this permission directly (though we can…). We typically give (or withhold) it by the quality of our relationships and the mindset with which we engage.
If a solid group of thoughtful people have a his permission, we can expect to learn a lot.
If we do not give anyone this permission (or give it only to those who think and live like us), we limit our potential intelligence.
When’s the last time you did something for the first time?
Yes, there is much to be said for consistency and the pursuit of focused excellence.
And, developing one’s range is also powerful. The experience of stepping into the unknown (and incompetence!) to learn a new thing is frightening and wonderful.
And using “last time” in a new sense… Our lives are rather short, when you think about it, and there will be a last time that we are able to do something for the first time. This urgency helps us accept the risk of doing something new.
With the earth. With each other. With God.
Better relationships are possible.
For strained relationships to heal, it takes dedicated time and the humility to ask for help.
Introspection seeks deeper understanding by turning inward, exploring our own thoughts, emotions, and motivations.
Outrospection seeks deeper understanding by turning outward, focusing on the experiences and perspectives of others, deepening empathy and connection.
We each need both, and probably gravitate to one or the other.
We each may be well-served by practicing the one that does not come naturally.
Each of us long for good leaders. People committed to the common good, rooted in wisdom and active love.
I’ve heard this hope expressed in the “prayers of the faithful” quite a bit recently.
What if, as an answer to this prayer, God is speaking you to the world as the leader that you long to see?
In this situation where I feel stuck and stymied, what is in my power to change?
A deeply important question to ask, and one that can be tough to answer well.
I was recently shown this succinct (and fun!) 20 minute group exercise that helps each participant answer the question with clarity and power.
What is your 15%?
Do we love creation with the same love with which God loves creation?
That is a very high standard, an exquisite opportunity, and a grace for which we can pray daily.
When someone does something that really winds us up, what do we learn if we get curious and ask: “What’s behind the behavior?”
If the behavior is particularly perplexing, chances are there’s fear behind it.
When we realize this, and realize our own capacity for fear, it becomes easier to get close enough to love.
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