Category Archives: Attentiveness

Don’t Erase Mine!

Last week at Sunday School, as our son’s class prepared for First Reconciliation, the instructors invited the students into a simple and illustrative activity.

There was a big heart drawn on the board, and the students were invited to fill it with habits and attachments that are not of God. 

The point was to show that the sacrament clears our hearts of these things, so that in our hearts might grow the fruits of the Spirit.

When the instructor started erasing the words and narrating the metaphor, one rather exuberant young colleague jumped up and yelled, in full seriousness: “Don’t erase mine!!”

This is, of course, hilarious and the perfect reaction to illustrate why we need to be invited to the sacrament. We want this freedom from sin… buuuut maybe not yet.

Let’s pray for the grace to act with the Spirit now and not later.

Pause Game!

Often, when are sons are in the midst of a rollicking game (often involving an imaginative world of stuffies and legos and a yoga-mat-as-naval-vessel and running amok in our apartment) one of them will yell: “pause game!”

Maybe the energy was too high. Maybe one boysensed that they were out of sync. But the call is always heeded by the other and they take a moment to recalibrate.

In all instances, the pause enhances the play. 

This is also true of our lives. Be it sabbath or a daily period dedicated to not doing.

Pausing is what makes our life and work fruitful, enjoyable, possible.

T-I-M-E

We are told that, for a young person, love is spelled T-I-M-E. That is, we love this child best when we consistently offer our undivided attention for meaningful amounts of time.

This may also be how we long for God to love us.

All we must do to make ourselves available to this love is offer our undivided attention for meaningful amounts of time.

Can We Stop Doing This?

As one might expect, our sons occasionally find themselves in a conversational rut. They are going back and forth in a way that makes them both angry and tired.

When they realize this is happening, they’ve started to say (mercifully): “Can we stop doing this?”

When we find ourselves in a communication or relational rut, we can ask the same – to change the dynamic and find another way forward.

Who has permission?

Who has permission to tell you the truth (about yourself or the world)?

Usually we do not give this permission directly (though we can…). We typically give (or withhold) it by the quality of our relationships and the mindset with which we engage.

If a solid group of thoughtful people have a his permission, we can expect to learn a lot.

If we do not give anyone this permission (or give it only to those who think and live like us), we limit our potential intelligence.

First Time, Last Time

When’s the last time you did something for the first time?

Yes, there is much to be said for consistency and the pursuit of focused excellence.

And, developing one’s range is also powerful.  The experience of stepping into the unknown (and incompetence!) to learn a new thing is frightening and wonderful.

And using “last time” in a new sense… Our lives are rather short, when you think about it, and there will be a last time that we are able to do something for the first time. This urgency helps us accept the risk of doing something new.

Introspection and Outrospection

Introspection seeks deeper understanding by turning inward, exploring our own thoughts, emotions, and motivations.

Outrospection seeks deeper understanding by turning outward, focusing on the experiences and perspectives of others, deepening empathy and connection.

We each need both, and probably gravitate to one or the other.

We each may be well-served by practicing the one that does not come naturally.