Who has permission?

Who has permission to tell you the truth (about yourself or the world)?

Usually we do not give this permission directly (though we can…). We typically give (or withhold) it by the quality of our relationships and the mindset with which we engage.

If a solid group of thoughtful people have a his permission, we can expect to learn a lot.  

If we do not give anyone this permission (or give it only to those who think and live like us), we limit our potential intelligence. 

The Necessity of Solitude

This week, I’ve picked up this astounding little book again.

Here is part of the author’s riff on the magnificent value of cultivating solitude.

“To be alone is not necessarily to be absent from the company of others; the radical step is to let ourselves alone, to cease the berating voice that is constantly trying to interpret and force the story from too small and too complicated a perspective…”

“It may be that time away from a work, an idea of ourselves, or a committed partner is the very essence of appreciation for the other, for the work and for the life of another; to be able to let them alone as we let ourselves alone, to live something that feels like a choice again, to find ourselves alone as a looked-for achievement, not a state to which we have been condemned.” (Consolations, pg.14)

Whoa! And yes, please!

Rededicating to a discipline of solitude is a wonderful way to live the season of Advent.

First Time, Last Time

When’s the last time you did something for the first time?

Yes, there is much to be said for consistency and the pursuit of focused excellence.

And, developing one’s range is also powerful.  The experience of stepping into the unknown (and incompetence!) to learn a new thing is frightening and wonderful.

And using “last time” in a new sense… Our lives are rather short, when you think about it, and there will be a last time that we are able to do something for the first time. This urgency helps us accept the risk of doing something new.

Introspection and Outrospection

Introspection seeks deeper understanding by turning inward, exploring our own thoughts, emotions, and motivations. 

Outrospection seeks deeper understanding by turning outward, focusing on the experiences and perspectives of others, deepening empathy and connection. 

We each need both, and probably gravitate to one or the other. 

We may be well-served by practicing the one that does not come naturally.

Curious or Furious

A moment of anger can be quite involuntary. Something happens, crashing against our expectations of how things should be, and all of a sudden, we are furious.

Okay. But then what happens.

Choosing to fan the fury leads to barricading oneself on a self-righteous patch of moral high ground. Not a fun or productive place to live.  This approach keeps us from being able to listen and relate to people who think differently from us.  And so, anger keeps us from seeing and responding effectively to the situation that made us angry in the first place.

If we find ourselves to be furious, we can afterwards choose to become curious.